Cue Obese Chanteuse

We left Las Vegas around 11am, and proceeded to drive through the Mojave desert. This eventually turned into hills, and we saw a bunch more windmills, which Kacey once again demanded that I photograph. We stopped at a ridiculously windy gas station, where the wind blew the car's gas cap fuel door thing closed repeatedly. EXCITING!

At some point along the way, we realized this was it. There were no more fun stops, no more diversions. We probably should have realized it a lot sooner, but the point was this: we weren't on vacation any more. There was no turning back and driving home to Orlando. Across this unfamiliar land full of new sights, we were driving home. For Kacey, it was a home she hadn't seen before, except for a picture or two on craigslist. I was somewhat worried that she wouldn't like the place I had picked out a few weeks earlier on a trip to San Francisco. But I still had an enormous half of an enormous sandwich to keep me from worrying too much. Alternating comforting bites of turkey, pastrami, coleslaw and rye, I listened intently to election results on NPR as each mile brought us closer to our new home by the Pacific.

Between adjustments to the radio tuner to keep NPR audible, I made a phone call. We arranged to meet our new landlord at the new apartment around the new 9pm, and we arrived in the new city around the new 8:00. Presumably because of the extra hour, Kacey told me that she had developed some sort of instinctual navigational system and wanted to try to find the apartment by feel rather than having me navigate for her. This may very well be the craziest thing she has ever said to me, but I stopped keeping track a long time ago. We ended up in the Castro, San Francisco's most fabulous neighborhood, where there were numerous people celebrating Obama's victory in the streets. The resulting commotion and unexpected pedestrians, combined with my lack of faith in Kacey's mystically acquired navigational skills, transformed her from a small, docile and adorable creature into a 5'3" ball of white hot rage. After about 25 of the most challenging minutes of the trip, we eventually set a course to the new apartment. At about 8:57pm, we reached our new home. Barren, dusty, and with repairs scheduled for the next day, the apartment welcomed us.

We had reached the end. But in many ways, we have reached the beginning. Between jobs, between homes, and between destinations, being on the trip was like existing in limbo. As much fun as we had, the prospect of standing on firm ground again is kind of appealing. Until the earthquakes start.

Saying goodbye and packing everything up in Orlando was like closing a chapter of our lives. Or mine at least; I don't know what kind of crazy stuff goes on in Kacey's head. The trip was full of new experiences, but also reminders of the past and visions of the future. As we begin the next chapter of our lives, we want to say thank you again to everyone who has helped us along the way, whether by taking us in, helping us out, or simply making us smile. We hope to see or talk to all of you again soon, and we hope that you have enjoyed following us on this journey. We've enjoyed sharing it with you.

What manner of zany adventures await our heroes? Find out on the Hav-Wartz blog. You're already on it; just come back in a few days or so and there will probably be something new. Oh, and here's a hint: it's likely to involve working, sleeping, or eating. All of which mean raw, unrestrained adventure and excitement.

Sin City

So we checked into the Mirage hotel around 4pm and spent about an hour wandering through the lobby of the hotel and casino. We had tickets to Cirque du Soleil "Love" (choreographed to the Beatles) at 10pm, so after grabbing a couple drinks we went for a walk on the strip. We watched a "peformance" of the Bellagio fountians, walked through Caesars Palace and were asked (while holding hands), "whether we were married or just practicing" two different times by the same person. Apparently marriage is really just a question of whether or not you are holding your partner's hand just right. Gentle with a protective grip maybe? I'll ask my parents later.

We returned to the Mirage and ate dinner at Carnegie's, a deli which is popular in New York City. Chris, after a fair warning by our waiter, ordered this.

Everyone stopped to stare when the waiter brought this monster out of the kitchen. Half of that sandwich tagged along for the remainder of the trip.

After dinner we took a brief nap and woke up to go see "Love." I bought a 5 dollar Sprite, which Chris wasn't too thrilled about; but it was sold in a commemorative cup and now we have something to cherish the experience forever:) The show was fantastic. It wasn't a typical cirque performance because it had a little more singing and dancing than flipping and flying, but it was a great balance of acrobatics, music, and theatrics. Plus the visuals were stunning. We both really loved "Love."

After sleeping in our seriously amazing beds, we woke up the next morning ready to gamble! We each started with 25 dollars. I know it sounds lame, but we were playing the nickle slots and it would have taken forever otherwise. Chris won 71 dollars at one point on a quarter slot machine and of course I lost all of my money. In the end we broke even, which happens to be the key ingredient for an uninteresting blog post.

Lets do a final recap of our trip through sin and back:

Scandalous attempt number one: Get Wasted!
We each had one drink.

Scandalous attempt number two: Gamble all our savings away!
We broke even.

Scandalous attempt number three: Dessert for breakfast!
Score!!!

So in the end, it was for the best that our worst offense was a sweet breakfast, because on our way out we saw this guy. And no one wants to offend him this time of year.

Las Vegas Photos

Alien insurance?

Leaving Carlsbad we had originally planned on camping at Bottomless Lakes State Park and visiting Roswell the next morning. But because our visit to the caves was shorter than anticipated, we decided to stay the night at a hotel in Roswell instead. Of course this drastically increased our chances for an alien encounter, but a nice bed with blankets will always win over a cold desert floor(at least when one's camping gear is buried in the depths of their trunk). Additionally, I think most of our warm blankets were waiting for us in a box at the greyhound station in San Francisco.

We arrived at a hotel around 5pm and when they asked how much we wanted to insure our belongings for against alien abduction/destruction, I didn't know what to say. Do aliens use laser beams these days or mind powers? If lasers, the damages would be irreparable. I can afford a little emotional therapy for my toothbrush but if the bristles are burnt to ash I just can't work with that. This involved way too much research so we decided to just try our luck. Besides, isn't it true aliens want to abduct your body, not your toiletries or feather pillows. At least this was my understanding. Maybe I would learn different at the museum the next morning.

The museum admission was 5 dollars a person. We each got to wear a neon green sticker which would allow us to return all day until 5pm!! It is hard to believe that the whole Roswell phenomenon began with one man's discovery of some unfamiliar metal on a farm. Mac Brazel, you are a legend.

The museum was a spacial time-line, including pictures of UFOs and crop circles, various gov't attestations, and plenty of pop culture memorabilia(this is for Becky). And as the grand finale to our self guided tour, we found ourselves facing a reclined prosthetic alien being! Good show UFO museum. Good show.

The true spirit of this small town could not possibly be captured within the walls of this museum. If anything it was a barrier to the real and true Roswell. Stepping outside one could see this was a town of acceptance. Look at the Arby's photo above. They will serve aliens, and probably with a smile.

America voted for a black president this year, and I imagine Roswell would have no problem voting for a green one either.

Roswell photos: http://flickr.com/photos/kcjane84/sets/72157608802547551/

Carlsprettygood

I read this cool essay by Ansel Adams while we were at the Carlsbad Caverns park, in the Chihuahuan desert in New Mexico (which apparently has more biodiversity than the Everglades). The essay was enlightening and inspiring. Unfortunately, college trained me too well to forget everything I read after a few days, and I'm writing this post from the future. I contacted the park to ask them what the title of the essay is so I can find it again. I'm waiting to hear back. I think it was about the fragility, connectedness, timelessness, and beauty of nature. Which seems typical of something you'd read at a national park, but somehow I thought it was special. So there.


The Big Room is something like 700 feet underground. Before we got there, for some reason I thought I had read that the underground chamber was 700 feet tall. And I had seen an image that I thought was enormous natural stone pillars leaning on each other. Which I also thought were 700 feet tall. It kind of reminded me of the Mines of Moria from Fellowship of the Ring. But somehow I was wrong on both counts. Although the chamber is quite large (I think the largest in the western hemisphere in some category, like a natural limestone cave or something), its ceiling is nowhere near that high from the floor. And I have no idea what image I had seen, because I didn't see any such enormous natural freestanding pillars.


What we did see, though, was still pretty spectacular. There was one quote from an early explorer of the cave (or maybe it was Ansel Adams) about it being both creepy and beautiful, and just about the most alien-feeling place on earth. That seemed fitting. Almost everthing was a pale off-white color, with some very faint hints of colors in different areas (I guess the lighting they use is supposed to reveal the natural color of the formations). You can read all about how the caves were formed online, I don't know if it's something I should bother getting into here because I'm bound to omit or misquote something. Well... I'll try real quick. Basically, acid and acidic water carved away the limestone to form the caverns, and then trickling groundwater slowly deposited minerals and created all the "decorations," or stalactites, stalagmites, columns, draperies, popcorn, and soda straws. A lot of the decorations look like specific forms, like lions' tails, people, and gothic architecture. There were other cool things too, like huge blocks of gypsum, fallen boulders, and lots of bat guano. Apparently the caves were discovered by following the thousands of bats that make their homes their in the summer. Discovered in the Christopher Columbus sense I mean. I guess we missed the bats' nightly exodus from the cave's natural opening by just a few weeks, which is something I'd definitely want to see if I make it back there again.

So... not quite what I expected, but pretty cool. If you are ever in the area, I'd recommend it. Apparently the guided tours are pretty good, but we didn't end up doing one.

Our Carlsbad Caverns photos
Also, if you are feeling like a traitor, you can check out some of the National Park Service's photos.

Texas poop-rise.

After a fun night in Amarillo (as described below), we embarked on a long drive through Texas to reach our next destination. During about 90% of that stretch manure air filled our car like one would expect gas to fill any small gray 2005 chamber on four wheels.

In addition to the foul scent, this section was probably the least interesting of the entire drive (aside from a new found ability to see past vast land expanses). With that said, no one will probably bother clicking any photo link I make now...so I will just force you to look at pictures by including them in this post.

Interesting Picture One: Cotton Field.

Interesting Picture Two: Damn, I think the cotton was about all I got.

Don't think we will be seeing you again too soon Highway 62.

Happy Halloween!

So we forgot it was Halloween. . . until we had to pay a toll on the highway. From then on our memory was restored.

Thank you Banana Boy(aka Johnny #1758) for giving us enough concentrated holiday spirit to last us well through winter.

Ohio: Fifteen Minutes of Fun

After spending the night again at my grandma's, we had doughnuts for breakfast for the second day in a row. I'm not complaining. We drove to Columbus, where my parents, Becky, Kacey and I went to the Wexner Center for the Arts to see an Andy Warhol exhibit. I don't really know what to say about that. I never really knew much about Andy Warhol, and he never really figured very prominently in any of my art history classes (somehow I never made it much further than the early 1900s). I don't know how comprehensive the show was, but the premature and uninformed opinion I have reached is this: on one hand, I can see a few contributions he made to the art world. But on the other hand, I guess you might say his fifteen minutes are up.


After the Warhol exhibit, we went to a French restaurant called La Chatelaine to pick up some sort of late lunch. I had a croque-monsieur sandwich, Kacey got some soup or something, there were quiches involved, you don't care about these details. You are here for the babbling nonsense. Or the pictures. Or you're not here and I'm deluding myself into thinking anyone cares. Sorry, it's getting late. Anyways, La Chatelaine holds some ambiguous significance in my head because one time I bought authentic French bread there for a potluck-type meal in French class, and because I met there with my high school French teacher, Mme. Matticola (rencontrer, methinks), on a few occasions after I graduated to catch up, share pictures from the French exchange trip my senior year, reminisce about how I should have worked harder. etc. And I got a chocolate croissant because they are awesome. I keep telling myself that soon, I'm going to read one of the three French novels I own. I am hoping that once things settle down with the new job and I adjust to the night schedule, I can make some time to do it. Maybe I will start taking the bus and will read then. It's not like I have a ridiculous tendency to sleep during automobile rides, after all.

Becky, Kacey and I picked up Brandon and Kierstin right after school in Columbus and headed off toward a farm/pumpkin patch about 40 minutes away. We were a few minutes ahead of my parents and brother in a second car, and we stopped by my high school, Fort Hayes, for an incredibly quick drive-through visit so Kacey could see what sort of facility creates the monsters that are Havreberg children. The campus has something like 8.4 billion buildings and was used as a military base around the Civil War. Somewhat interestingly, the Presidio, where I'll be working in San Francisco, also used to be a military base and is also populated with quite a few old renovated brick buildings. Although the Letterman Digital Arts Center is only a few years old. This seems like an appropriate time to give another teacher shout-out to both my computer graphics/art teacher Mr. Walton and my math teacher Mr. Smeltz, who in many ways laid a foundation for me getting this job, taking this trip, writing these words, etc. Um and other teachers probably did cool stuff as well.

Anyways, once we got to the farm, we started the pumpkin patch experience by playing in the fun barn, which was their term for "ridiculous amounts of hay, plus slides." It lived up to its name and you can check out some fun pictures like this one:



After the fun barn, we waited in the fun line for the fun hayride to the fun pumpkin patch. I planned this whole thing... well, I asked my mom to, because I wanted to ensure Kacey had an authentic pumpkin patch experience. Not like in Florida where they just truck a bunch of pumpkins onto some lawn in front of a church and you walk around hating your life and regret ever moving there. This was the real deal. We got little prepackaged apple juices afterwards.


Brandon is that little silver huddled mass between my mom and Erik. He is kind of like an armadillo.

After the pumpkin patch we dropped the kids off at home and went to dinner with my cousin Amanda and her husband Aaron. She grew up in Minnesota and we usually only saw each other every 2 or 3 years. Now she's in grad school at Ohio State, and I've seen her a little more frequently in the past few years. I don't know how being in San Francisco will affect that recent trend.

This was our last night in Ohio. My mom conveniently had several days off while we were there, but she had to get up early the next morning to return to work, so we woke up at 5am to say goodbye to her and Becky. A few hours later, Kacey and I packed up the car and had a small breakfast with my grandma before we set off toward St. Louis. Now I'm all sad. Stupid blog.

Ohio Photos: http://www.flickr.com/photos/kcjane84/sets/72157608619717876/

Ohio: The Illness Chronicles

My grandmother loves beef. And black labs, but not in the same way. It is because of this multifaceted love that we started our day by eating large burgers at Jake's restaurant in Mount Vernon. Except Becky, who ordered a bunch of side dishes instead. This went pretty well until she tired of me stealing her potatoes, at which point she called upon her vegetarian superpowers and reanimated some of the trophy animal heads on the walls. It was a fun lunch.

Later on, we drove (sans Grandma) back to Columbus, where we picked up my dad and went to see a film. I think I have set a new personal record for greatest number of family members present when unexpected sexual themes are depicted. I am now tied with Kacey's first four minutes of Superbad with her parents and sister present. Thank you, Coen brothers.

After the movie, we went to a Mexican restaurant called El Vaquero, which apparently means "Space Doctor" in Spanish. They have TVs where they show loops of the first zero-gravity open heart surgery, time-lapse photography of xenobotany cultures, and other interesting milestones. I bought Becky and Kacey each a strawberry margarita, which was Becky's first drink since she turned 21 in September. First reported, anyway.

I was originally going to attend a concert with my brother Erik on the second night in Ohio, but I contracted some sort of devil-like flu thing about a week before we set out from Orlando. Sadly, this prevented me from joining Kacey on her last visit to see her family in south Florida, and had me still expectorating like nobody's business and generally feeling like crap tonight. So instead of the concert, the foregoing events took place. Well, some of them. Some of them I made up because the real events weren't believable.

High in the Middle and Round on the Ends

Ohio is famous for many things. For example, William Howard Taft, the fattest president ever (so fat that the White House needed a new bathtub to accommodate him), came from Ohio. And that is why, out of all fifty states, I chose to be born there.

I typically make it home once or twice a year, but unfortunately it doesn't look like I'll be able to for Thanksgiving or Christmas this year. So our road trip made what some believe to be a ridiculous out-of-the-way stop. But at some point in our trip planning, I did some math. According to my calculations, the Ohio stop ended up taking us only 1000 miles out of our way, whereas a straight Orlando-Columbus round trip would have been around 2000 miles. So I win, naysayers.

Once we adjusted our trip schedule to factor in the 9-hours-late start from Orlando, we actually got to my parents' house slightly earlier than expected. This was a great improvement over our previous drive to Ohio, during which I was sleeping at a critical moment and Kacey drove us an hour into Kentucky or something. My own ability to get lost is somewhat legendary in my family, due to a few notable blunders during my first few years of college. My rationale is that I never really drove much until I left Ohio, so even though I'm "from there" and "should know your way around, you idiot," I just never had to deal with it before. In all honesty, I never even knew the route my bus took all through high school. Kacey and I were initially going to buy a GPS system for this trip, but we ended up doing everything with 8 pages of printed Google maps directions and a US road atlas. In an unexpectedly pleasant turn of events, this trip proved to be incredibly successful in that regard. I don't think we lost more than an hour due to navigation errors over the whole trip. So we win, naysayers.

The first night we stopped briefly at my parents' house in Columbus, then went with my mom and my sister Becky to my grandma's house in Mt. Vernon, acquiring some Donatos pizza en route. This was notable in part because Donatos originated in central Ohio, and eventually came to Orlando, but apparently is dying off there, much like myself. It is more notable, however, because Donatos is delicious. But I guess the residents of Orlando don't necessarily agree. So you win, naysayers.

I wrote all of this about a few hours' drive and some pizza. AND THERE ARE TWO WHOLE DAYS LEFT!!!

Oh yeah and I think there is only one picture from this night:

Change of plans

We finally arrived in Atl at 10:30pm, but because of little sleep the previous night (and the promise of chocolate fudge brownies), we changed our plans by accepting the Swartz family's offer to stay the night. Originally we were going to continue on to Birmingham and stay overnight with our friend Patrick. We were insanely tired so although we are sad we didn't get to see Patrick during the trip, we were very grateful for the hospitality and the chance to catch up with the Swartzes . . .while eating the aforementioned brownies:)

The next morning Larry Swartz gave us enough food to last the entire drive to Ohio. He also stocked me up with some cheese, because as a young Schwartz-ling I had a history of eating it all out of their fridge. Chris and I barely got out of GA before finishing the dbl decker deli sandwiches we made, so all the extra snacks came in handy for the remaining (now sandwich-less) 6 hour drive.

Not many photos were taken with humans here because 85% of the visit was spent sleeping. However I did fit in a brief photo shoot with the Swartz' beagle named Prince. He was looking at the awesome creek behind their house. Unfortunately I forgot to take a picture of the creek... I had a very engaging model. Anyways, I hope we can visit longer next time or at the very least be more wakeful.

Atlanta photos: http://www.flickr.com/photos/kcjane84/sets/72157608752938759/

Just a small delay. . .

The left photo was taken at 6am (when we were supposed to be leaving our apt). 9 hours later the picture on the right was taken. Our late start was due to misjudging the size of my car, and spending extra time packing an additional 6 boxes that our roommate Chris Pagoria would send to us later. Thanks again Chris for your help with shipping!

Below is what the car looked like when we finally left Orlando. I am not sure why, but at the time that seemed like the perfect location for a solitary running shoe. After a final goodwill drop off, we were on our way to Atlanta GA to visit with our friends the Swartz Family!

Additional Awesome

I also wanted to say thanks to the unpictured humans who came to the goodbye dinner and had to go before the pictures happened. And everyone who contributed to the camera fund. And the people who couldn't make it to the dinner. And the people who helped us arrange everything for the trip by giving us help and advice about this ridiculous undertaking. I know secretly you were all just eager to get rid of us and wanted to expedite the process, but we appreciate it nonetheless.

And also, a big thanks to the humans in San Francisco who let me stay with them, showed me around, bought me food and shiny objects, and generally welcomed me and once again made things easier for us.

Friends + New Camera = Awesome Goodbye Dinner

First Post! We want to thank everyone for coming to our last dinner in Orlando and for the surprise gift. It was great to see all of you and we can't wait to get together and eat loads of Italian food again. Lauren and Jessica, did you ever finish all of your leftover of spaghetti?

The camera is getting a lot of good use and the links to all of our photo galleries (as we slowly create them) can be found at the top right of this page or at the bottom of each blog post. Yay roadtrip!

Orlando dinner party photos: http://www.flickr.com/photos/kcjane84/sets/72157608611919981/