Ohio: The Illness Chronicles

My grandmother loves beef. And black labs, but not in the same way. It is because of this multifaceted love that we started our day by eating large burgers at Jake's restaurant in Mount Vernon. Except Becky, who ordered a bunch of side dishes instead. This went pretty well until she tired of me stealing her potatoes, at which point she called upon her vegetarian superpowers and reanimated some of the trophy animal heads on the walls. It was a fun lunch.

Later on, we drove (sans Grandma) back to Columbus, where we picked up my dad and went to see a film. I think I have set a new personal record for greatest number of family members present when unexpected sexual themes are depicted. I am now tied with Kacey's first four minutes of Superbad with her parents and sister present. Thank you, Coen brothers.

After the movie, we went to a Mexican restaurant called El Vaquero, which apparently means "Space Doctor" in Spanish. They have TVs where they show loops of the first zero-gravity open heart surgery, time-lapse photography of xenobotany cultures, and other interesting milestones. I bought Becky and Kacey each a strawberry margarita, which was Becky's first drink since she turned 21 in September. First reported, anyway.

I was originally going to attend a concert with my brother Erik on the second night in Ohio, but I contracted some sort of devil-like flu thing about a week before we set out from Orlando. Sadly, this prevented me from joining Kacey on her last visit to see her family in south Florida, and had me still expectorating like nobody's business and generally feeling like crap tonight. So instead of the concert, the foregoing events took place. Well, some of them. Some of them I made up because the real events weren't believable.